Round 1, Day 1-Gourging phase

March 19, 2010; 284 lbs

I have been looking into the hCG diet for quite some time and after a lot of research, I decided it was going to be good for me once I was done nursing Cohen. I made an appointment with a recommended naturopathic doctor to be examined, discuss the diet and make sure I was a good candidate. After talking with a close family friend, I was aware of what it consisted of but I still had questions and I was happy to have them answered. There is a lot more to this than I had originally thought!

So, today marks day 1. There are 3 days of gourging with injections before the 500 calorie diet w/injections starts. I am to eat high carbs and fats to my maximum capacity. A dieters dream, right? WRONG! I am not used to eating high carbs and fats! I've been on a weight loss journey all my life and I have found this sort of diet makes me SICK!

So this morning I woke up, weighed myself (nekkid, after emptying my bladder as directed) and loaded up the kids for some errands. I do not own a food scale and I have to be very particular about my intake. I also came to realize our bathroom scale is broken. I stepped on it 4 times in a matter of a minute and got 4 different weights! Not good LOL!

After the store, we went to our favorite bagel which so happens to neighbor Starbucks. That I WILL miss! The boys had sausage/egg bagel sandwiches while I attempted to eat 2 scrambled eggs with cheese, breakfast potatoes and an asiago bagel with cream cheese. Whenever I have started a diet in the past, I felt like I was starving that first day with thoughts of everything I could NOT have. Today is different because I HAVE to eat this stuff. From what I've read and heard, the more fat and carbs I consume these first few days, the better I will feel the first few days of the 500 calorie diet. I tried and tried but I couldn't finish it all. I ate the whole bagel, half of the potatoes (which was an insane amount anyway) and 3/4 of the egss (which are NOT my fave since my pregnancy with Braedon). Oh and a LARGE dark cherry mocha from Starbucks (YUMMY!).

At 12 noon, I gave myself my first injection. I, of course, syked myself up for it so I was nervous. To top it off, Braedon wanted to watch. We have had to eliminate sugar from his diet for hyperactivity reasons and he is really struggling with it lately so it's good that I am starting this now. I told him that I couldn't have sugar either and now I have to give myself shots because of it. I wasn't totally lying right?? I re-iterated that we all need to change what we eat and that I don't want him to have to give himself shots because he ate too much sugar nor do I want him fat like me.

Ok so he watched me and cringed. I think he actually made it worse for me. I had to be the strong mommy when I already have a complex for needles and then top that off with having to do it myself?? Granted, it's a very SMALL needle (usually used for insulin injections) but still...

Injection done..not so bad LOL!

At 1pm I realized it had been a few hours since I had last ate. I was not hungry but knew I needed to eat something so I made some mashed potatoes (instant since it's what I had on hand). Normally, I have no problems eating mashed potatoes but I was struggling. I wasn't hungry so it didn't taste very good. Needless to say, I got through about half of them.

An hour or so later, I was having a feeling of not quite hungry but possibly getting there so I decided to have one of my favorite snacks....cereal! Honey Nut Cheerios to be exact. I don't have any problems eating bowls of cereal...except today. It was good, but I just felt like I was eating to eat. My doctor and Rachel both told me, the more I get in these 3 days, the better I will feel the first few days of the LC diet. After eating the cereal, I felt sick and knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything for a while.

4pm rolled around which is when I would normally start thinking about what to make for dinner or where we would go out for dinner since it's Friday. Nothing sounded good. Olive Garden (one of my fave's) would be a great way to get in lots of carbs and fats; Mexican would yeild the same result...if I could get myself to eat.

When Chris got home, we voted on Mexican since it was near BRU and we needed diapers. We ordered a cheese crisp for an appetizer and I ordered my favorite plate which I can NEVER finish. I hat 3 slices of cheese crisp and I was full even before my dinner came...trouble! I managed to eat my cheese enchilada and started on the taco. I got about half way through that and Chris could tell I was struggling. I gave him the rest of my taco and started on the green chile burrito..maybe a change of flavor would help. It was so good but I was so full. Somehow, I at half of it and just couldn't eat anymore. It was weird because I didn't have the feeling of "stuffed" or full like I normally would experience...it was different. Like, the food just didn't taste good anymore and if I even thought about taking another bite, I wanted to throw up.